‘God makes babies!’

‘God makes babies!’

When Tim and I got married we had our first child, Sam, quite quickly. Trying for a second child was much more difficult; we had a number of miscarriages and then nothing for quite a few years. Anyone who has experienced infertility and miscarriage will know that the cycle of hope and disappointment is really hard both emotionally and physically, but through it all I always felt that God was saying to me that he was in the process and that we would have another child.   

For example, after my third miscarriage the hospital did some genetic testing on the embryo to see if there was an underlying genetic problem. I didn’t get the results until months afterwards and, to be honest, I had completely forgotten that I was expecting them, but one morning I was playing at home with Sam – who was about three – and completely out of the blue he said: “Mummy, you know that God makes babies?” A few moments later the phone rang with the results of the genetic testing. 

Another instance was when I asked some close friends to pray for me about having a second child and one of my friends – who definitely has a faith but is not much of a church goer or Bible reader – said to me that she felt God had given her a word for me, but that she didn’t understand it at all and was probably wrong etc.  When I finally persuaded her to tell me she said that the word was “Sarah”. I asked her if she knew who Sarah was in the Bible and she said she had no idea but was very excited when I explained that Sarah was Abraham’s wife who had been unable to have children – although God had always promised that they would have a child. I shared that this finally came to pass when Sarah was in her 90s.

The two times that I really felt God spoke to me personally about giving us a second child were directly through the Bible. In both instances I was praying and felt really drawn to particular passages. The first one was a passage that I only vaguely remembered, when King David prayed to God after his adultery with Bathsheba because the son they had together was very ill and he called out to God to save the child. As I read the passage I had completely forgotten that although God lets that baby die he promises David that not only will he see his dead child again (which I found deeply moving in the context of my miscarriages) but that he will have another child; that child ultimately becomes the great King Solomon. 

The second time that I felt God speak to me was again to do with Abraham: I was using a morning Bible app and the theme that morning was hospitality, looking at the Bible passage where Abraham welcomes three strangers to eat with him. I was feeling very sad about not being able to have another baby and not very engaged with the theme, but felt that I should look at the wider passage. As I read, I realised that the three visitors promised Abraham that within a year his wife Sarah would have a baby. That was on the 3 August 2020 and I felt so strongly that God had spoken to me that I was completely convinced that by the following year I would have a baby. 

That didn’t happen. In fact, in a slightly cruel twist, my sister had a baby on 3 August the following year. I was so confused – I knew what God’s voice sounded like and I was sure I’d heard him, but year after year the baby didn’t come.  

Adoption is something that I’d always wanted to be part of my family story. Tim was less keen, and, as I looked into it and understood better all of the risks and uncertainty that can come with adoption, I wasn’t necessarily so sure myself. But it also began to feel like the right option for us to grow our family and so about three years ago we decided to go forward with this.  

We expected that we would wait quite a while before we were matched with a suitable child but only a few months after we were approved, on Thursday 22 February 2024, I got an email from our social worker that essentially said, a woman who was seven months pregnant (but had only just discovered that she was pregnant) had approached her local authority to say that when the baby was born she did not want to keep him. We were asked if we would be interested in fostering him with a view to adoption. 

As you can imagine this was a bit of a bombshell – we sat, prayed, panicked and talked, but gradually came to the decision that we did want to move forward. I found it comforting when I looked up the baby’s social worker, Jonas, and discovered he is a Christian. By the time I had a call with our social worker, on the Monday, we knew that we were all in.  Which was good because we were then told that the mum had been diagnosed with preeclampsia and they were going to deliver the baby that Friday! What followed was a crazy week of letting my work know and leaving within the week while getting ready for a newborn. But through it all we could see God’s planning.  

Little Thomas was born on Monday 4 March and the next day I went to see him in his little incubator at hospital. His birth mum was still in hospital and so we coordinated our visits to Thomas via Jonas so Charlotte and I didn’t meet each other. Then the following Saturday the amazing Jonas came in on his day off to sign the paperwork to allow us to take Thomas home with us.   

What has followed has probably been one of the best periods of our lives. Thomas is the most wonderful child – he’s funny, loving and affectionate – and all three of us couldn’t love him more. Thomas’ birth mum Charlotte has also become a good friend of ours. We first met her in person about a couple of months after Thomas was born to discuss expectations about contact going forward. It was such a beautiful albeit very emotional time: she essentially expressed that she would love to be involved in Thomas’ life but as an auntie or godmother figure. She comes over to visit Thomas about once a month and I know that for his long-term emotional health and sense of identity it’s so important that he has a connection with her.  

About a year after we adopted Thomas I found out I was pregnant. Our beautiful baby girl was born on the 4th September! I gave birth at 49 years old. Now I look back and marvel at all that God’s done. He did always promise me a second birth child, but I think he also knew that if we had had one earlier we wouldn’t have pursued adoption and therefore Thomas wouldn’t have been part of our family. And God had plans for Thomas too – to make sure that he was raised in our family, with love, stability and faith.    

Katie