As tributes pour in for Matthew Perry AKA Chandler in 'Friends', Lauren Windle takes a look at the words in his autobiography, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing, published a year before his death.
'Friends' was the TV show that defined my childhood. That’s probably a bit of a sad admission but it’s true. I remember being in agony at the end of season five knowing that I would have to wait a whole eight months to find out what Emily would do after Ross said Rachel’s name at the altar. I learned all I know about sex and dating from the show (not ideal, I know) and, even to this day, I still shout: “Pivot” whenever someone’s moving furniture.
Despite this, I decided not to read Matthew Perry, aka Chandler’s autobiography. It’s been well documented that Perry was in recovery from addiction and that he struggled with drinking and prescription medication in the ten years when he was filming the show. As a recovering drug addict myself, I avoid these memoirs. It is neither entertaining nor interesting to hear about someone else’s rock bottom when you have lived your own parallel version.
But one of my friends bought the book and has been messaging me about it, so I decided today to give it a go. Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing was published on 1 November 2022, and it’s an interesting ride. Most interesting for me, was when Perry spoke about his relationship with God and the “deal” he made with him three weeks before he auditioned for Friends.
"I found myself getting to my knees, closing my eyes tightly and praying... 'God, you can do whatever you want with me, just please make me famous'."
He said: "I was reading in the newspaper about Charlie Sheen – it said that Sheen was, yet again, in trouble for something. But I remember thinking: 'What does he care? He’s famous.' Out of nowhere, I found myself getting to my knees, closing my eyes tightly and praying. I have never done this before. 'God, you can do whatever you want with me, just please make me famous'."
Perry goes on to explain that God "kept his side of the bargain" as he got the role on Friends. He said: "The Almighty being the Almighty had not forgotten the first part of that prayer as well. Now all these years later, I’m certain that I got famous so I would not waste my entire life trying to get famous. You have to get famous to know that it’s not the answer and nobody who’s not famous will ever truly believe that."
Does God do deals like that? He certainly never seems to enter into negotiations with me.
It's a compelling story and I don't doubt for a second that he prayed that exact prayer. But does God do deals like that? He certainly never seems to enter into negotiations with me. If God did agree to this deal, how likely is it that what God "wanted to do with him" was throw him into the depths of an addiction? I reckon, if God had his way, Perry would have rocked up at a church and started volunteering on an Alpha course.
These stories are always interesting, and I love the way they demonstrate that, when something is important enough to a person, they will pray about it regardless of their beliefs. I just don't want to over-spiritualise situations that don't warrant it. Although - who am I to say what God agreed to and what he didn't. The only thing I know for sure is that God's ways are not my ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).
(This article was first published on 10 November 2022 and has been edited upon the announcement of Matthew Perry's death on Saturday 28 October 2023.)
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