I named all nine babies that I miscarried in order to help me heal - I know I will meet them in heaven

This Baby Loss Awareness Week, Christian writer Vicki Whent shares how she faced the heartbreak of losing nine babies. 

Today, I named nine of my children. It was not an easy task. Despite the challenges of choosing the perfect name for each of them, I faced the far bigger hurdle of believing that I should even name them at all. My nine babies died. Not in my arms or some awful accident. They died in my womb. Somewhere between six and twelve weeks old. My eldest would be 34 years old now, my youngest 15.

Until recently I’ve never allowed myself to think about them as real babies that I would name. In my mind they were just lost pregnancies. At the time I mourned each loss. Friends offered supportive words. Comments such as "at least it was very early" and "I’m sure you’ll soon be pregnant again" left me with a sense that although upsetting, these pregnancies were just a blip on the road to finally having a baby.