How can I possibly conceal my fear from my 8-year-old? A Christian mother’s perspective amid the war in Lebanon

‘There are days when I feel like fleeing this country, not out of fear for myself, but because I don’t want my son, Noah, to endure the same scars of fear and trauma that have marked generations of Lebanese,’ says Marianne Awaraji as she shares her experience of the current crisis.

During these turbulent times in Lebanon, with war seemingly on our doorstep and the terrifying roar of fighter planes overhead, fear grips me in a way that I can’t ignore. The memories of Lebanon’s painful history come flooding back, making my heart race and my hands tremble every time I hear the sound, thinking it is another explosion nearby. How can I possibly conceal this fear from my eight-year-old son when I instinctively run to him, desperate to ensure he’s all right? How do I explain that it’s “just the sound of a plane” and that everything is fine, when my face betrays my alarm, and my breath quickens with anxiety?