God freed me from binge eating

Denise Jelinek shares her deeply personal journey of struggling with food, faith, and feelings of unworthiness. 

I always thought I was chubby as a child, even though it was far from the truth. When I was five years old, I tried on a rainbow two-piece swimsuit and loved it. My mother asked if I would actually feel comfortable enough to wear it because my stomach was sticking out.

I had no idea my stomach was sticking out until she said that. I don’t blame my mother. She was trying to help.  But, I learned early that when I wasn’t ok (either how I looked or felt) eating (or not eating) food made me okay.

My relationship with my body and food was typical, not healthy, but typical as I grew into adulthood. Once I got married, I was totally unprepared for the stresses of married life and turned more frequently to food to cope. My husband and I had typical issues - figuring out how to share the house-work when we were both in full time jobs - but my only relationship tools were avoiding conflict and people pleasing.